wanting "the d"

It’s come to my attention that the phrase “she wants the D” is apparently incredibly popular. I’ve managed to make fun of it lately by posting ridiculous images on my Facebook wall. That does not mean that I enjoy the phrase. I think it’s creepy and weird and here is why.

First of all, D could represent any numerous things. She wants the Doritos  she wants the dog, she wants the doorknob. But no, she apparently wants the dick.

Does she really want the dick? She could buy a dick, and that dick sits in a drawer and doesn’t talk back. It’s available for constant use, 24/7, so long as she also has a stock of batteries. She could have that dick and it would probably save her a lot of time, trouble, and future resentment or alcoholism.

But that’s not what this phrase is applied to — this phrase is applied to dicks that are actually attached to other human beings. Alright. She wants hisdick.

Does she want it cut up in a box? Will she be okay if someone just happens to mail her the dick one day? Did she really want that dick?

No, she probably did not. Why? Because that’s disgusting. Only serial killers mail each other penises. 

What did she really want, if she didn’t want the dick then? Maybe she wanted sex. Yes, “The D” is involved in sex, but there’s also a lot more involved. It takes two to tango, not one and 6 inches. Sex is all about the give and take, so if she wanted sex she needs more than just a “D.”

Or maybe she wants commitment. Apparently “She wants the D” is used to refer to attraction of some sort.

For me, wanting a “D” is ridiculous. If I want anything, be it sex or commitment, I want the whole fucking package. I want the man and I want his brain and his personality and everything that comes with it. 

tl;dr: I don’t like the phrase and want more than just a “D.”